A: It came gradually, and it came not by seeking that, not even by knowing that such things are possible to us on this plane of existence, but it came about through study, a search for God. My own search had to do primarily with filling a void in my life, an emptiness inside that was never satisfied, and although it had much gratification on the outer plane, it had no inner satisfaction. And that was what drove me originally to the study of Christian Science. And then through that beginning, I was led to all of these different phases of spiritual revelation of all people, throughout all time, in all nations.
And just by studying, reading inspirational writings, and practicing the truth, as we learn them in these truth teachings, gradually there developed a capacity for just doing one thing at a time, until a day came when a problem of supply made me tear up all of the outstanding bills that I had as a practitioner and begin to realize that my supply was not dependent on patients, not dependent on students, but on the presence and power of God.
And so from that day, I had no more accounts receivable. I had no more books. The only book I had was a diary where I kept appointments and then income, which was entered as it came in for—and only for income tax purposes, because it didn’t bother me how much came in as long as the bills were paid. But, as you know, we have to keep a record of income for the government, but I had no other records, no outstandings. And I developed through that the realization that I do not live on yesterday’s manna. I live only on the manna as it falls today, and so my dependence was on what came in today—not anything that was due from yesterday or carried over from last month. And that brought about a state of consciousness of “today-ness,” or nowness, so that I never felt responsible for anything but this day and this moment, and that led to another thing.
When a call came for help, I felt under the obligation of meeting that call now—not giving it a treatment tonight before I went to bed, not going out to the movies and then coming back and doing the work, not even going to church and coming back and doing the work, but when the call came—do it now. And so when the mail came, I developed a habit of answering it on the same day that it came in, and sometimes that entailed staying up at night but always coming to the next morning with a clear desk.
Well, you would be surprised that if you were to take care of everything as it came up, when it came up, how much spare time you’d have in the day. Most of the time, we haven’t got free days because of the accumulations that have come about from yesterday and the day before, and we’re always making up for it.
Well, now, that has carried over into my present experience, so that if I am here and somebody says, “Have you got a minute to talk to me?” I certainly have, because that’s all I’ve got to do this minute. I have no other obligation this minute than to fulfill any demand that’s made upon me. Now, when I go back to the hotel, I have mail, and if it requires sitting up at night to do it, it will be done. But as those of you who have written me know, you get a prompt reply. That is the reason—nothing accumulates.
Now, through that practice, this consciousness developed of never being pressed from outside because there’s nothing to do except what is at hand this minute, and with that comes this other idea of never being pressed for supply, never being pressed for any obligation tomorrow, because there is only today, and there is only this hour of today; there is only this moment of today.
And then it develops—you don’t do it—it develops in you a sense of peace, a sense of quiet, and you begin to understand how the Master could say, “I of my own self can do nothing. It’s the Father within me that doeth the work.” And there develops through that . . . and, of course, Paul’s statement, “I can do all things through Christ,” or “I live; yet not I. Christ liveth” . . . There develops a state of consciousness, which I have called the “not I.” Oh, that isn’t an original term with me. I read it somewhere, but I use that term “not I.” In other words, there are no demands ever upon me, for I have nothing to do with the outside world. Every demand that is made upon me is made upon the Christ. I learned, years and years ago, that nobody is very much interested in Joel, and very few people have ever had much time for Joel, but the Father within me is of interest to everybody, because the Father within me can be of service, can be of help, can be of illumination.
And so, when people come to me, I feel no personal call. I feel no personal demand on me but on the Father within me. And you’ll be surprised how much work the Father can do in twelve seconds—much more than you or I could do in twelve hours. And as you realize, even when a financial demand is made upon you, that it isn’t upon you, it isn’t upon me, it’s upon the Christ, the demand doesn’t disturb you.
When you’re called upon for help, it doesn’t make any difference if it’s one patient or a hundred—it can’t disturb me. The demand isn’t made upon me. It’s made upon the Christ, and I know how well the Christ can take care of every demand that’s made upon me. And so, I can say with Paul, at least in a measure, I live; yet not I. It’s the Christ living in me, and It is performing whatever work has to be done, whether it’s healing work, teaching work, financing work, whatever it is to be done. It’s not a call on me. It can’t disturb me. It cannot intrude upon me, because it is the Father within that has to meet it.
You will gain an awareness of what I mean if you can agree that this life is God in action. If this life is God in action, then what have you got to do with being responsible, or being hurt, or being praised? You will never be moved by praise if you ever realize that this is an activity of the Christ, not of man. And you’ll never be hurt by censure if you know that this is an activity of the Christ and not of man because anything that anyone is praising is the Christ, not the person. And what do you think they’d be condemning? The Christ, and not the person.
If they misunderstand the Christ, they will condemn it, but they’re not condemning me. No one has any reason to condemn me. I haven’t done anything. And, therefore, only the Christ—and the Christ can take the condemnation and dissolve it. It knows how to handle it. It knows just how to handle it with love and with grace. I don’t. I’m apt to get very, very mad at some of the things that go on in the world, but it doesn’t, and so I’ve learned to let it take care of it, and that handles my anger and resentment.
And so it is, once you can see that your life is not yours, please, please mark this—your life isn’t yours. Your life is God’s. Know ye not that ye are God’s? You belong to God. God is responsible for your demonstration, not you.
1This copyrighted excerpt is from Recording 41B: 1953 First Portland Class, “Living Through God, continued.” It is posted with kind permission from the Estate of Joel Goldsmith, which holds the copy protection on the recorded classes and the copyright on the transcripts. The full transcript of this recording is available from The Infinite Way website or by calling 1-800-922-3195.
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